Dave:So we head out of Grand Teton on a hazy morning, wondering what’s up with the weather. It doesn’t improve as we cross the border into Yellowstone, where we learn that three wildfires in the Southeast area of the park are to blame. We’d planned our first hike in that area, and the trails are still open, though a grizzly in the vicinity has that section of the park under additional scrutiny. So we head over toward the Absaroka Range, where the smoke is so bad that we decide that a three-hour plus hike in it isn’t the best idea.
The thing about Yellowstone that we quickly find out (as compared with Rocky Mountain and Grand Teton) is that the park is HUGE. You typically have to drive more than a few miles to get from “point of interest A” to “point of interest B.” Not that there isn’t cool stuff to see along the way, but you’re definitely putting some miles on the car; you, and everybody else. And in no time at all I feel as though I’m back in Charlottesville, where the “driving impaired” go to die (or breed others in their own image). People pull out right in front of you, ignore the use of turn signals, stop in the middle of the road for no reason - but the best part is when they pull over to view an animal, especially bison, which are to Yellowstone what elk are to Rocky Mountain NP and Estes Park. These things are literally everywhere, like cows in India (Abby and Amanda know what I‘m talking about). And for every bison in view, there will be two dozen cars slowing down/stopping in the road/pulling over but not really pulling over and out come the cameras. In Grand Teton it was humorous; here, it’s like tourism run amok!
And as much as folks are warned (signs are so numerous as to appear redundant), somebody (a “touron” in the jargon of the park staff) is walking right up to the animal, camera in hand, ready to get their “shot of a lifetime.” We keep waiting for the eventual goring, camera at the ready, to get our own “shot of a lifetime.” I’m telling you, these things are bigger than the Hyundai, and probably a bit heavier, too. What we really need is an EarthRoamer XV-LT, which greets me (and a few other awestruck folks) at the Grant Village Visitors’ Center. It’s like the monster truck of campers. This baby would be as at home on the Serengeti Plain as in the Alaskan Tundra. It’s built on a Ford Super Duty F-550 4WD cab chassis (I didn’t even know Ford made a F-550), with an integrated truck camper, 22 inch tires on 10 lug wheels, a triple hitch receiver, heavy duty winch, and all-around bad-ass attitude. I was surprised it was only packing a V-8 (I thought the Triton V-10 would be more appropriate), though I suppose fuel economy is an issue. If we hit the lotto out here, guess what’s coming back to C’ville?
